You never stand taller than when you stoop to help a child

When they said the most shocking result in our history, and then they told Melinda she was safe, I got really pissed off really quickly, because Jordin has quickly become our favorite at Idol HQ, and most people thought she was awesome last night (we didn't, and we'll explain why below).

Then I just happened upon the music blog www.idolator.com (no relation to the show). They posted a story this afternoon about the contestants' picks on iTunes. I can't give you the iTunes link, but here's the idolator link with the iTunes link inside.

And guess what happens when you follow the link and your iTunes opens up? EVERYONE'S PLAYLISTS ARE THERE EXCEPT FOR CHRIS'!!!!!!

I thought it was a sure bet that Chris was gone. Turns out it was nobody leaving this week. Awesome. Especially for our pool.

Back to the iTunes thing real quick:
Massive kudos to Jordin for selecting Sufjan Stevens' "John Wayne Gacy, Jr." in her playlist. Almost as cool as Blake Lewis selecting Elliott Smith's "Independence Day" AND Imogen Heap's "Hide and Seek" AND "Leave Me Alone" AND "100% Dundee". And definitely not as cool as LaKisha selecting all the songs she's sung on Idol.

I mean, seriously, what is LaKisha's deal? She does a Carrie Underwood song and a Fantasia song in back-to-back weeks --- so horrible song choices. She looks like she doesn't get along with anyone. She doesn't hold Sanjaya's hand when she's in the bottom 2. What is her story? She's a clown.

Speaking of clowns, what is Terri Hatcher's deal? Did she rush to the Idol taping from a 3-ring circus in her little clown car and forget to take off her outrageous clown makeup?


Here are our other thoughts about Wednesday -
Why can't Simon talk to the camera onstage? Was he confused which way was forward or does he think his back is his most photogenic side?

So many Sanjaya jokes tonight, and he's IN THE AUDIENCE! That's not cool. Oh, and looks like Sanjaya's Mom had a big day last Friday. PS - that means she likes pot.

It's a good thing they didn't ask Quincy Jones to speak. Remember what happened earlier this year? And do you call what Quincy did "conducting"?

Randy Jackson, Seal, and Jack Black - nicely done.

Kelly Clarkson and Jeff Beck - Awesome. I could watch Kelly Clarkson sing for the whole 2 hours, but then I would be without knowing each funeral Gwenyth Paltrow has ever attended, and I NEED to know that. By the way, do all these famous people know anyone or are they only friends with really young and healthy people? I'm younger than almost all of the celebrities they showed and have been to more funerals than all of them.

Who's hotter - Helen Mirren or Kiera Knightley? I think it's a toss up. I must be getting old.

My eyes physically hurt me when I watched Celine Dion and Elvis sing. I assume it was the special effects that made her blurry.

When Madonna said all those kids she was standing with in Malawi had AIDS and were dying.....I really hope those kids don't understand English.


OK, here are our thoughts about Jordin doing "You'll Never Walk Alone":
You thought Jordin Sparks had an awesome rendition of "You'll Never Walk Alone"? Think again.

Anyone who's anyone knows that in order to sing "You'll Never Walk Alone" perfectly, you must sing "One Light" immediately after it and then "Climb Every Mountain", "The Dudley Hymn", and "Now the Day is Over" and fade it all out with 3 pianos playing while you hum the melody until the lights above you slowly darken. And you must be 10 1/2 - 14 years old. And you must sit on the floor. And you must be surrounded by 350 of your peers. And the doors must be open. And it must be the summer.

Those are the rules for singing "You'll Never Walk Alone" perfectly. Jordin did well, but until I see her in Westport, NY, she'll always be 2nd best....Download a perfect version of "You'll Never Walk Alone"here. But hurry because that download is only available for a week!



Well, that's about it to add from here. Not quite sure what we're going to do for scoring next week. Ideas?

The Master