You never stand taller than when you stoop to help a child

When they said the most shocking result in our history, and then they told Melinda she was safe, I got really pissed off really quickly, because Jordin has quickly become our favorite at Idol HQ, and most people thought she was awesome last night (we didn't, and we'll explain why below).

Then I just happened upon the music blog www.idolator.com (no relation to the show). They posted a story this afternoon about the contestants' picks on iTunes. I can't give you the iTunes link, but here's the idolator link with the iTunes link inside.

And guess what happens when you follow the link and your iTunes opens up? EVERYONE'S PLAYLISTS ARE THERE EXCEPT FOR CHRIS'!!!!!!

I thought it was a sure bet that Chris was gone. Turns out it was nobody leaving this week. Awesome. Especially for our pool.

Back to the iTunes thing real quick:
Massive kudos to Jordin for selecting Sufjan Stevens' "John Wayne Gacy, Jr." in her playlist. Almost as cool as Blake Lewis selecting Elliott Smith's "Independence Day" AND Imogen Heap's "Hide and Seek" AND "Leave Me Alone" AND "100% Dundee". And definitely not as cool as LaKisha selecting all the songs she's sung on Idol.

I mean, seriously, what is LaKisha's deal? She does a Carrie Underwood song and a Fantasia song in back-to-back weeks --- so horrible song choices. She looks like she doesn't get along with anyone. She doesn't hold Sanjaya's hand when she's in the bottom 2. What is her story? She's a clown.

Speaking of clowns, what is Terri Hatcher's deal? Did she rush to the Idol taping from a 3-ring circus in her little clown car and forget to take off her outrageous clown makeup?


Here are our other thoughts about Wednesday -
Why can't Simon talk to the camera onstage? Was he confused which way was forward or does he think his back is his most photogenic side?

So many Sanjaya jokes tonight, and he's IN THE AUDIENCE! That's not cool. Oh, and looks like Sanjaya's Mom had a big day last Friday. PS - that means she likes pot.

It's a good thing they didn't ask Quincy Jones to speak. Remember what happened earlier this year? And do you call what Quincy did "conducting"?

Randy Jackson, Seal, and Jack Black - nicely done.

Kelly Clarkson and Jeff Beck - Awesome. I could watch Kelly Clarkson sing for the whole 2 hours, but then I would be without knowing each funeral Gwenyth Paltrow has ever attended, and I NEED to know that. By the way, do all these famous people know anyone or are they only friends with really young and healthy people? I'm younger than almost all of the celebrities they showed and have been to more funerals than all of them.

Who's hotter - Helen Mirren or Kiera Knightley? I think it's a toss up. I must be getting old.

My eyes physically hurt me when I watched Celine Dion and Elvis sing. I assume it was the special effects that made her blurry.

When Madonna said all those kids she was standing with in Malawi had AIDS and were dying.....I really hope those kids don't understand English.


OK, here are our thoughts about Jordin doing "You'll Never Walk Alone":
You thought Jordin Sparks had an awesome rendition of "You'll Never Walk Alone"? Think again.

Anyone who's anyone knows that in order to sing "You'll Never Walk Alone" perfectly, you must sing "One Light" immediately after it and then "Climb Every Mountain", "The Dudley Hymn", and "Now the Day is Over" and fade it all out with 3 pianos playing while you hum the melody until the lights above you slowly darken. And you must be 10 1/2 - 14 years old. And you must sit on the floor. And you must be surrounded by 350 of your peers. And the doors must be open. And it must be the summer.

Those are the rules for singing "You'll Never Walk Alone" perfectly. Jordin did well, but until I see her in Westport, NY, she'll always be 2nd best....Download a perfect version of "You'll Never Walk Alone"here. But hurry because that download is only available for a week!



Well, that's about it to add from here. Not quite sure what we're going to do for scoring next week. Ideas?

The Master

Idol Gives Back

There is so much news about Tuesday and Wednesday's shows that we found tons of information while searching the whole internet for news-worthy quotes about what to expect.

First off, this is what Idol's site says about Tuesday and Wednesday's show:

In keeping with the them of Idol Gives Back, the Top 6 finalists will sing “life anthem” songs about compassion and hope tomorrow 8/7c. Then, don't miss Wednesday's star-studded 2-hour results show!

Yes! Life Anthems! The cheesyness factor will be amped up to 11 Tuesday night, and I'm sure we'll see great performances from the girls (Melinda, LaKisha, and Jordin). They will certainly not disappoint. If I were to bet right now, I'd say a guy is going home this week.


Then, if you're feeling charitable, every time you vote on Tuesday night, the sponsors for the week's show will make a contribution to the charities that are the center of the week's theme.

But, the real show this week is about Idol's 2-hour spectacle on Wednesday night! That is the "Idol Gives Back" show with tons of "A-List" celebs. And this is what we've discovered:

According to the Himalayan Times of Nepal:

Actors Forest Whitaker, Hugh Grant and Kiera Knightley have signed up to perform on a special charity edition of hit US TV talent show, American Idol.

They will be joined by Daniel Radcliffe, Helena Bonham Carter and Desperate Housewives star Terri Hatcher on American Idol Gives Back, a one-off programme to raise money for children in Africa and those whose lives were severely affected by 2005's Hurricane Katrina.

For those of you too lazy to click on the Himalayan Times of Nepal's link, here's the picture they run with the story (I'm not kidding). Is there a picture of Kiera Knightley wearing less clothes out there?

For those of you unfamiliar with Kiera Knightley, you might know her best as the terribly toothed newly-married wife in "Love Actually", a side plot in the movie that added absolutely nothing to the film at all.

Of course, Daniel Radcliffe is best known for his role in (and the pictures of) London's most recent production of "Equus".

Helena Bonham Carter, aka Mrs. Tim Burton, is best known for her role as Ari in Burton's "Planet of the Apes". Not sure who I'm talking about? Here you go.

And of course everyone knows Terri Hatcher from her line in Seinfeld, "They're real, and they're spectacular".

Looking elsewhere around the internet, The Namibian, has chimed in with this piece of great information:

The Wednesday results show will feature guests including Hugh Grant, 'Harry Potter' star Daniel Radcliffe and spoof Kazakh journalist 'Borat' appearing live or by video, and performances from a concert at the Disney Hall in Los Angeles.

Borat?!?! For those of you who don't know him or the Kazak national anthem, here's a American Idol-worthy clip to get you familiar with the man:



So, thanks for The Namibian for this great nugget of info!

Elsewhere around the internet, we travel all the way to Orlando to learn that Ellen DeGeneres will host Wednesday's show:

The Wednesday results show, at 8 p.m., will be a two-hour extravaganza with DeGeneres hosting from Walt Disney Concert Hall in Los Angeles. The event will draw attention to Charity Projects Entertainment Fund, which helps children in Africa and America.

Bono will meet the finalists and explain how viewers can help. The Irish singer will talk about One: The Campaign to Make Poverty History. You can learn more at www.one.org ...

As for the musical side of the show, the "Idol" finalists will perform "American Prayer," which Bono and Dave Stewart wrote about Africa's AIDS crisis.

The other guests on Wednesday's show include Oscar-winner Helen Mirren, Quincy Jones, former "Idol" victors Kelly Clarkson and Carrie Underwood, Celine Dion, Pink, Gwen Stefani, Il Divo, Keira Knightley, Hugh Grant, Jack Black, Rascal Flatts, Annie Lennox and Earth, Wind & Fire.

I'm sorry, did you say Quincy Jones


Kelly Clarkson


Carrie Underwood


Celine Dion


Pink


Gwen Stefani (who you've seen already on this blog),

Jack Black (NOT SAFE FOR WORK LANGUAGE IF YOU CLICK ON THIS, but awesome singing)


Rascal Flatts


Annie Lennox


and Earth, Wind and Fire (this clip's from the worst movie ever!)?



So, are you sufficiently prepped for Tuesday's and Wednesday's shows?

One last thing, just so that you know what all these appearances are going towards, Damian Stafford has shared with us the following:

This is best thing that anyone could do for Africa. Ever.

To bring it all back to the pool, there are 25 people who can go 4 for 5 or better this week. We mentioned them last week, but to recap, they are:

#4 Team Zach & Sarah - need Blake or Phil out
#5 Marybeth - needs Phil to go out to be 5 for 5!
#6 Will - needs Phil or Chris out
#7 Damian - needs Phil or Blake out
#8 Missy - needs Phil out to be 5 for 5!
#9 Julie - needs Phil or Blake out
#10 Jane - needs Phil or Blake out
#12 Amy Y. - needs Phil or Jordin out
#13 Paul P. - needs Phil or Chris out
#14 Kristin - needs Phil or Chris out
#16 Mike - needs Phil or Jordin out
#18 Crystal - needs Phil or Jordin out
#19 Meredith - needs Phil or Chris out
#21 Jennie - needs Phil or Jordin out
#23 Jen - needs Blake or Jordin out - yes she still has Phil alive!
#26 Marsha - needs Phil or Blake out
#27 Adele - needs Phil or LaKisha out
#29 Lance - needs Phil or Jordin out
#32 Dave - needs Phil or Jordin out
#34 Yvonne - needs Phil or Jordin out
#35 Marsha - needs Phil or Jordin out
#36 Jon - needs Phil or Jordin out
#38 Lisa's Mom - needs Phil or Jordin out
#40 Heather - needs Phil or Chris out
#41 Grant - needs Phil or Jordin out

As you see, most of our pool will benefit if Phil, Chris, or Blake go out....If overly dramatic life anthems are the theme for the night, I would be willing to bet it's one of those three that leaves us....

Happy viewing!
The Master