To sum up Tuesday's "Songs of Barry Gibb" episode on American Idol, we can't help but think of Dr. Alan Pearl's reflective lyric in the song "Nothing Ever Happens on Mars":
Boring...Boring...Boring...Boring
Boring...Boring...Boring...Boring
Note #1 to Barry Gibb - don't sing along with the finalists. It looks creepy. Or maybe you're just creepy in general. Work on that.
Note #2 to Barry Gibb - when you wrote 95% of the songs for men, it's going to be natural for women to sing songs that were written for men. You don't need to keep talking about it.
Note #1 to the producers - when Melinda is singing the group song, make sure her mike is on.
Of course, just because Bee Gees night is boring doesn't mean everyone's not watching. In fact, The MSR Group, a market research company, says that they have problems getting people to answer the phone when their telemarketers call on Tuesday and Wednesday nights (the article's a little old):
According to statistics gathered by the company, over the past two weeks Americans have been less likely to answer their phones on nights the popular television singing competition airs, particularly during the recent "Idol Gives Back" episode.
"Over the past two weeks, we have seen our interviewers' production levels go down significantly on American Idol nights. The rates have gone from 3.2 completed surveys per hour to about 2.5, a 22 percent decrease. The biggest drop occurred last week during the 'Idol Gives Back' episode where we saw a 41 percent decrease," said Dick Worick, President and CEO of The MSR Group. "Production rates have remained normal on all other days of the week and even for other times of the day."
The reduction in response levels has led the company to change its staffing patterns on "Idol" nights, ensuring its staff isn't left idle.
How can these telemarketers work if you won't pick up your phone during Idol?! Help them please!!! Talk to them while Idol is on....They'd really appreciate it.
For those of you who sat through another unbearably long Wednesday night show (Ryan and the judges RUSH through Tuesday night to get the show in, yet they all joke about how they have to stretch out the show on Wednesday night), you saw Pink perform "Who Knew", a performance that was bumped off of the "Idol Gives Back" episode. That's right - that performance was NOT live on Wednesday night.
However, word is that Pink was originally supposed to do her current single, "U + Ur Hand", but the producers told her to switch it up because they didn't like that song's content.
So, for the record - songs performed by top 16 finalists this year like "Let's Get It On", "Every Breath You Take", and "Mack the Knife" - which are songs about murder, stalking, and getting it on with someone else.....those are OK. But songs that mention getting it on without anyone else are out of bounds.
Back to Tuesday night's show -
We saw that many people agreed that Tuesday's show was just not good and they felt the need to email Debbie about it:
Paul Peters wrote this:
LaKisha is hot, but her rendition of "Run to Me" was not.
Mark Noferi said:
Could they put more echo, echo, echo on Blake for "You Should Be Dancing"? And what was that second song? I've never heard that song before in my life.
Go Yanks.
Jennie Lane wrote us to say:
This is what I have to say to Blake - hey Blake - You should be dancing....all the way home because you sucked big time on Tuesday night loser. Your hair is horrible.
Grant Gosselin said:
I have it on good authority that Melinda Doolittle smells like rotten garbage. And her performance on Tuesday night was garbage, too. Smelly, smelly garbage.
And Missy Minock wrote:
Dear American Idol Pool Master, Jordin's rendition of "To Love Somebody" was alright.
TTYL!
Love, Missy
Turns out no one above was more accurate than Paul Peters.
When Wednesday rolled around and Seacrest said Jordin was safe, it meant good news for only three people - Chris F., Peter B., and Marybeth. Marybeth and Peter B. both have Jordin #3. Chris F. has her #2. Very good calls all of you!
And it was no shocker that Melinda was safe, and almost everyone in the pool breathed a sigh of relief.
So, when it came down to Blake and LaKisha, you would think that Blake would be the safe one as he was the only boy remaining.....and he was. Kiki's voyage ends here.
Congrats to Dave, Jane, Jennie, Matty, and Paul P. - you all called LaKisha out 4th.
And LaKisha's departure means bad things for Chris F., Christy, Darby, Dina, Karen, Lisa W., Mark, Marsha, Will. All those people had Kiki winning the whole thing, so no winner's pool for you!
But no one was hurt more than the people whose only remaining "alive" finalist (meaning only contestant left was in their top 2) was LaKisha. Those people have now maxed out and can't get any more points for the rest of the competition. They are Lisa W., Mark (both had Kiki #1), Jennifer (had Kiki #2), and Brooke (had Kiki #3).
Mark's max out at 170 means he could finish as low as 49th - which is great news for the Fioretti family!!!! That's right Paul, Jaime, and Suzanne - if Melinda wins the whole thing, you three won't finish 49th, 50th, and 51st.....although Jaime and Suzanne, I regret to inform you that you two are finishing 50th and 51st no matter what.....all hope for the Fioretti family now rests in Paul (and I guess Melinda's) hands.
Also, LaKisha getting the boot also means that NO ONE is 3 for 3, and there are only a handful of people who can go 2 for 2 next week. They are:
Paul P. - has Blake 1 and Melinda 2 - Paul P. is the highest current participant who can go 2 for 2 and he needs Jordin gone to do it. If that happens, and Blake wins, Paul P. will max out at 268 points, which is a very good number.
Jennie - has Blake 1 and Melinda 2 - which means that no matter what, she's going to finish behind Paul P. - The most she can get is 263 points
Chris S. - has Melinda 1 and Blake 2 - Can max out at 253 points
Grant - has Melinda 1 and Blake 2 - Can max out at 245 points
So, let's look at the top 5 real quick. OK -
In First Place remains WILL BEEKMAN! We don't know how he does it, folks. He just stays on top of the standings and refuses to let go even though he lost his #1 pick tonight. In fact, if Jordin wins the whole thing, we think Will might be able to hold on and win this thing. He currently has 251 points but can only max out at 262. He's done after next week no matter what.
In Second Place sits Marybeth Heyd. MB is a force and is seemingly in the driver's seat. If Melinda wins the whole thing, Marybeth will win the pool. She has 250 points, but can max out at 273 with Melinda as her #1.
In Third Place is Kristin. Kristin has 242 points and can max out at 265, but since she has Melinda winning the whole thing, too, the best she can do is 2nd place. Still Kristin is a BIG Melinda fan.....
In Fourth is Missy Minock. Missy only has Melinda remaining at #1. Currently, she has 238 points, but can max out at 261. Which means, if it's a Melinda/Jordin finale and Melinda wins, Missy will finish fourth. I think that's the best she can do.
The Dark Horse is sitting in 5th place - Paul Peters has his #1 and #2 alive in Blake and Melinda. If Jordin goes next week, and Blake and Melinda are the top 2, and Blake wins it all, then Paul Peters will win the whole thing.
In fact, if Melinda goes out next week, and the finale is Blake and Jordin, and Blake wins it all, Paul will win the whole thing that way, too.
So, to recap our top 5. This is the best (WE THINK) they can do -
1. Will - will win if Jordin wins
2. MB - will win if Melinda wins
3. Kristin - will finish 2nd if Melinda wins
4. Missy - will finish 4th if Melinda wins
5. Paul P. - will win if Blake wins
There you go. We looked at the standings really quickly, but we think that's right.
Want to see the top 10 max points at this point?
1. Marybeth - currently 2nd - 273 points
2. Paul P. - currently 5th - 268 points
3. Kristin - currently 3rd - 265 points
4. Jennie - currently 7th - 263 points
5. Will - currently 1st - 262 points
6. Missy - currently 4th - 261 points
7. Crystal - currently 6th - 254 points
8. Chris S. - currently 16th - 253 points
9. Team Zach & Sarah - currently 8th - 249 points
10. Damian - currently 9th - 246 points
Lastly, cutest situation in the standings? Check out how adorable Don & Karen Lane are. Here we are 9 weeks into the competition, and somehow, someway, these two lovebirds have found each other. They both have 201 points and currently sit in a virtual tie in 32nd and 33rd. If someone other than Melinda wins, they'll end up virtually tied, too. Awwwwwwww.
Down to the final 3! Final 3 week is always one of our favorites - it's usually when Clive Davis shows up and picks a song for the contestants to sing and the judges each pick a song for the contestants, too.....We really hope nothing changes next week!!!
The Master
PS, Will Phil Stacey be deployed to Iraq? This article really doesn't have a clear answer, but I'm pretty sure the gist of the thing is "probably not".
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