American Idol Viewer's Guide - Andrew Lloyd Weber

Well, I think we can all take a big sigh of relief that Kristy Lee is FINALLY gone! Geez, all those middle-American country lovers (or guys who thought she was hot) were keeping her around too long for our AI pool. The majority of us had her going out pretty early so we can all focus on the remainder of the contestants now. For those of you that thought you might want to try and date the hottie, your dreams are over. Kristy Lee is now engaged (as she was back in March) to Andrew Dobner, a tree cutter from her home state or Oregon.

Onto the current Idols and their performances on Mariah Carey week…whew, what a toughie! First there was Brooke White who sang “Hero”. The judges, and us at AI Headquarters, love her folksy rendition but did anyone else notice how she totally lost it in the middle of the song? It’s like she spaced out and couldn’t regain focus. Her piano playing became almost painful to watch and hear, not to mention her voice…definitely not her best performance. We may see Brooke in the bottom three this week although we’d love to see her stay! On a side note about Brooke’s appearance…has anyone noticed the size of her hair increasing? I mean, we know she’s a Beauty School dropout, but shouldn’t she have better hairdo decisions? How can someone go from this to this? Oh yea, and Brooke, PLEASE learn to SHUT UP during judging!!! We don’t want to know that you agree with every bad thing the judges say to you!

Carly gave another good performance singing “Without You”. I don’t know about you, but does it look like Carly is in pain when she’s singing? You can tell that she really tried hard to add in some smiles while belting out her best rendition of Mariah, but for the most part she still looked pretty mad and miserable! As most Idol fans know, Carly had been previously signed and released an album. We at AI Headquarters have noticed that since her former recording deal, not only has Carly gained a few tattoos, she’s gained a few pounds too. Check out Carly’s previously released album and photos under the name Carly Hennessy. Was she way hotter or what?

With his dreamy blue eyes, soft-spoken voice, and funky yet sexy dreads, Jason Castro continues to woo the ladies! Have you ever wondered if Jason would be as cute without dreads? The answer is NO…check out his mug pre-dreads. Jason sang Mariah’s “I Don’t Wanna Cry” with a three piece band backing him. The bongos were a totally Jason addition and we loved it! Although Jason is not that exciting, he is consistent. AI Headquarters wonders if Jason will ever try something new or change up his style, but then we found this YouTube clip of him doing the rockin’ band Sublime’s Sanetria…..it sounds like every other song Jason has done! Well, at least he’s consistent!

Now, I don’t know about you guys, but some of us are ready to see Syesha go! We loved her at the beginning of the show, but she’s lost some of her mojo! She sang Mariah’s “Vanashing” which the judges actually liked. AI Headquarters disagrees-we thought it sounded like she screamed the entire thing…OUCH! Also, could Syesha be any more boring? We tried to dig up some dirt on her but honestly, there’s nothing exciting or funny out there about her. The only thing remotely interesting about her is that she made it to the top 12 in Season 7 of American Idol. For that reason alone she should be booted by now!

And then there was the front-runner David Cook. Stealing words from Randy, this guy is hot, dawg! If you were like us at AI Headquarters, you were nervous for David when you heard that he was going to sing “Always Be My Baby”. How could a dude make this song enjoyable? Well, leave it up to David to figure it out. Along with the judges we loved his version of the song…and we think he didn’t rip this one off like “Billie Jean” or “Eleanor Rigby”! Although we liked David’s performance, we still think he needs a haircut! What is up with the pseudo-mullet and weird sideburn growth? The word on the street is that David has been seeing some chick Lacey Schwimmer from the show “So You Think You Can Dance”. For the full story and Lacey’s slutty looking picture, click here. Keep in mind that David is 25 and Lacey is only 19-ewwwwwwww!

Finally we turn our attention to the beloved David Archuletta! David wowed the crowd and judges with his rendition of Mariah’s “When you Believe”. Now we know that many of you have David finishing very high in your picks, but can you really see him topping the pop charts? Maybe he could be a major Christian artist, but can you see him hanging with the likes of Justin Timberlake, Jay-Z, and Adam Levine? I don’t think so! Also, some of you may have been so mesmerized by David’s singing to notice that he was wearing leather pants! That’s right, David Archuletta was singing a Mariah Carey song while wearing leather pants!…that is just wrong on so many levels!!!

Since the Idol Pool Master is so well connected, we have been notified that this week’s guest superstar is none other than Andrew Lloyd Weber! I’m sure all of you a cappella boys know him well, but for the rest of us, Andrew Lloyd Weber is the man behind the composition of “Cats”, “Jesus Christ Superstar”, “The Phantom of the Opera”, “Evita”, and more. This doesn’t sound like a real American Idol-type of theme, but hopefully we will be happily surprised! We see Brooke White channeling something from “Cats” since her hair can look strangely similar to the “Cats” costumes. Our only hope at AI Headquarters is that we will get to see David “Don’t Cry For Me” Archuletta perform something from Evita! Happy Viewing!