American Idol Viewer's Guide - The Final 7

With teenie-boppers, Idol Pool friends from the Georgia area, and just about any female Idol-fan above the age of 16 still reeling from the surprise exit of Michael Johns, American Idol seems to be missing that male-fashionista-flair that Michael and his ascots brought back with flair. If you're still heartbroken you can join the underground movement to bring MJ back that's going on at the AI forums or even let the world know that you heart Michael Johns.

For what reason MJ received the least # of votes we shall never exactly know, perhaps it's because he didn't fully replicate Steven Perry's (Aerosmith's lead singer) creepy eye shadow.



Having said that, we're on to the week of the Final 7 and it's time again for some song predictions. Mariah Carey joins the idols as the mentor and will expect, nay, DEMAND that they sing her songs. Given the huge number of songs, what will happen and who will pick what songs?

The Idol grapevine has Carly Smithson's song choice as "Without You", preview Mariah's version here.

Preview Bulgarian Idol's version here:



But who will tackle Mariah's "#1s" CD and with it, the numerous elephants in the room?

Will Jason Castro do "My All" singing about giving everything and coming away with nothing all in a super-breathy tone?

Will Syesha Mercado tackle another BIG song that she can sing but can't master a la her rendition of Whitney and Fantasia songs? We here at Idol HQ have been actively crunching the statistics and probabilities with huge number-crunching supercomputers to come up with "Always Be My Baby". You can prevew it here.

Does anyone want to know what that's going to be like? Here's a visual preview:


In case you have fat fingers, be careful this week kids when you cast your votes on the telephone - is America really dyslexic when they dial?? Are people getting caught up by the passion for their favorite picks? This article from the New York Times seems to think so!


Having said that, Brooke/Carly Simon has crashed our systems because we have no clue what she could choose from Mariah's catalog - maybe All I Want For Christmas Is You and the stagehands will break out the smoke machines and paper shreds to recreate a foggy and snowy ambiance while also setting her up for the most anachronistic Idol performance ever.

David "Archie" Archuleta will continue to wow the judges with a soulful performance of "I Don't Wanna Cry" while simultaneously staring at Mariah's size 11 feet that dwarf her 5'9" frame.

Kristy Lee Cook seems poised to do a song like Dreamlover keeping her alive for one more week while managing to keep the predominant majority of the male Idol-viewing audience still watching. After all, if Dave Cook and David Archuleta make it to the final two as most pool entries have predicted, we can expect the male contingency to be completely eradicated.

Last but not least, say a prayer that Mariah doesn't flash our boy David Cook and he isn't rushed to the hospital. Look for him to rock out a version of To The Floor from the hospital stretcher.