American Idol Viewer's Guide - The Finals!

Let’s be honest. This season has lacked flair. While a couple of singers have had nice moments, there has not been one contestant that has consistently blown America away. Both Lee and Crystal could be a stand-out star at your college or on a cruise, but they are hardly superstar material.

If Crystal won, her Ford commercial next year would be in their new minivan. She’d have her son in an infant seat in the back and her hubby would be in the front seat wearing a t-shirt and jungle pants. They’d pick up Taylor Hicks hitch-hiking on the highway and STILL have room to squeeze in Bucky Covington and his seven brothers.

If Lee won, he’d be in a Taurus. It would be the standard model with no upgrades. He wouldn’t say anything-he’d just be eating a pint of vanilla ice cream (out of a cup-NO sprinkles) with his mouth extended in crooked bites. At the end of the commercial, the screen would turn black and the following would come on the screen. “Ford Taurus. Hey man…why not?”.

I’ve managed to put together the following video clip to summarize this season of American Idol.


Because I don’t have much else to say, I’ve decided to look to you for your thoughts on some questions swimming around in my idol poolmaster brain:

If he really does leave, who should replace Simon Cowell?
	Donald Trump
	Kanye West
	Satan
	Little Richard
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How should American Idol spice up the things next year?
	Last Chance Idol. Change age limit range to 40-50 for one season. Get some has-been rockers in there
	2nd Chance Idol. Selected finalists who finished in the top 5 but didnt win return for a 2nd shot
	All Star Idol. Winners from each season return for the ultimate Idol showdown
	Global Idol. Winners from other international Idol competitions all gather for global Idol crown
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Please vote on your favorite trip em up idea designed to throw the singers off and create a better viewer experience
	Crisco on the stairs
	Backup singers a quarter step down and sing in Mandarin Chinese all night
	Randy Jackson judging naked (no judging table allowed that week-chairs only)
	Songs from the Kenny G catalog
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America should not only vote for their favorite singer but also vote on the artists stage name. The best name for Bowersox is:
	Shasta PowerSlam
	Dreadlocky McMoonbeam
	Melissa Ethrindigo Girl
	'U2 ' (Designed to increase album sales, this is different than Bonos band due to the space)
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Please vote on your favorite stage name for Lee Dewyze
	Pretty much anything but Lee Dewyze
	Dexys Midnight Riderz (again, creatively designed to increase
	Lee DeYawn....Snore...zzzzzzzzzz
	Big Mike
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Based solely on their weekly performances and their potential to become a star, who do YOU think deserves to be the next American Idol?
	Crystal
	Lee
	They are both amazing and deserving
	None of the above
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Finally, how do you think America will vote?
	Crystal
	Lee
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