American Idol Viewer's Guide - Grand Ole Opry Week!

Choo choo!!!!!! We see a train wreck coming, baby!

With everyone reeling from Jasmine going back to school, Jorge saying adios, and after tackling Michael Jackson (his music, not the man), the producers are looking to bring the wholesome, red-state, contingent back to AI in big numbers by bringing us to the Grand Ole Opry. Can we emphasize the wholesome bit after no one realized until the day of the performances last week that the 13th contestant (Alexis) would be getting the shaft (pun intended) if they didn't change things up? If they had given her IDOLS-13, votes would have been sent to an adult-themed phone number. Amazingly, with the thousands of people behind the show, no one had decided to check the number and make sure that AI and managing media company actually owned the number before last Tuesday. Ryan Seacrest was forced to do the unthinkable: he used the word "crap" in his Twitter feed to describe the mess (check out the one timed at 6:29am)!! This week, viewers and voters should be fine and vote as normal.

The Grand Ole Opry
It is the week of country. Per Wikipedia: "In many ways, the artists and repertoire of the Opry defined American country music. Hundreds of performers have entertained as cast members through the years, including new stars, superstars and legends. Being made a member of the Grand Ole Opry, country music's longest, most endurable "Hall of Fame" is to be identified as a member of the most elite of country music." We would argue that, like most music these days, country music is itself struggling with the balance between artistic integrity and millions of units. No, seriously, we would bet our Honky Tonk Badonkadonk on it. (That refers to a pop Country song with a very wholesome music video which is on the supposed song list for this coming week. Actually, that music video is not very worksafe...)

But the upcoming song list is an interesting one and it can serve to really show off a singer's chops. Chris Daughtry redefined Walk The Line years ago (Daughtry vs Johnny Cash), initiating the viewers fascination that he wasn't just an alterna-rock cutout and was really worthy of an album-cutting artist. Daughtry's name has come up multiple times as he was also a wildcard that could have won the whole contest. Anoop and Matt G. still need to prove they belong. The song list goes from Travis Tritt to Carrie Underwood to Dolly Parton to Garth Brooks to Alan Jackson to Hank Williams. You can see the full list here.

Here's our predictions of song choices (lets us know if you agree in the comments section):

Scott - Come A Little Closer
Lil - All-American Girl
Adam - Working 9 to 5
Danny - Beautiful Mess
Matt - I'm So Lonesome I Could Cry
Alexis - It Was Almost Like a Song
Allison - Honky Tonk Badonkadonk
Kris - Jesus Take The Wheel
Michael - Anything Johnny Cash
Megan - Chattahoochee
Anoop - You're Gonna Miss This


With all of that said, there is still much to discuss! Has anyone been blinded by the new stage at the Kodak Theatre?? In case you missed it, just as the contestants get ready to sing, dance, and do whatever else they do - BAM! - they see their beautiful/fugly face on a barn-sized upside-down flat screen sticking out of the floor. So just in case, they weren't comfortable in front of 25 million voters and had trouble getting over their microphobia (yes, that's a made up word) - BAM - their Eisoptrophobia kicks in (no that is not a made up word, go read a book...)



The change in rules with the addition of the "Vulture Vote" throws more uncertainty in to just who will get voted off and when. The new rule gives a wrongly-removed contestant the right to stay another week, but the following episode removes two contestants. This can only be done once per season, so the judges have to unanimously believe that the contestant is worth sending a lifeline to. Conceivably, a good singer could have a bad week and get a second go in a more favorable category of music and live to survive another day. And for those who don't get the lifeline, we get to hear the judges send off the dejected twice! Even more interestingly, the judges could break the system and pummel Earth into a wormhole in the time-space continuum if they decide to use the Vulture Vote in the last episode. That would result in the equivalent of a system crash as the losing contestant would get to stay another week, but then both finalists get booted in the following episode, ergo there is no finalist, ergo American Idol ends without an Idol, and the system crashes when the planet / universe / your metaphoric existence ends.

As we're busy keeping tabs on each of you in the Pool, we're also keeping tabs on the infamous contestants:

Adam Lambert is the focus of an LA Times come out of the closet story but his pics are all over the web

















































We're debating whether Ryan Seacrest actually uses Twitter himself or has an assistant type it into his BlackBerry for him.

Phil Stacey is blogging for the LA Times about AI... yawn.

Scott McIntyre is kinda smart apparently

Check out a tuxedoed Anoop getting his "Sexy Love" on as the lead vocalist in his college a cappella group, UNC's Clef Hangers, back in 2007. And he wasn't only a member -- he was also the group's Prez.

In case you have an iPhone, $2 to burn, and time to spare, you can buy the new American Idol iPhone app with special interviews and umm... other... special... things... and... umm... widgets!! Yeah, lots of widgets.



As for other AI minutae that doesn't escape our radar:

We're not sure why Casey Carlson was dropped as she has a great body of work (and she sings too)


Jessica Langseth, the singer from Minneapolis, was busted a few years back on DUI. She pled guilty, spent four days in jail and was put on probation for two years -- more than enough time to master the art of bare-knuckled combat. Jessica's probation was cut short and she officially became a free woman last December. Let's just hope there aren't any sharpened toothbrushes lying around the set. You know, for Simon's sake.


Clay is just being Clay:


Sanjaya has facial hair now and is all grownz up


Alex Trugman is a sledding badass


AND, JUST IN CASE THAT WASN'T ENOUGH EXCITEMENT FOR YOU, JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE HAS A NEW SHOW THAT PROMISES TO GIVE CONTESTANTS A HEART ATTACK.