Farewell Kiki!

To sum up Tuesday's "Songs of Barry Gibb" episode on American Idol, we can't help but think of Dr. Alan Pearl's reflective lyric in the song "Nothing Ever Happens on Mars":

Boring...Boring...Boring...Boring
Boring...Boring...Boring...Boring

Note #1 to Barry Gibb - don't sing along with the finalists. It looks creepy. Or maybe you're just creepy in general. Work on that.

Note #2 to Barry Gibb - when you wrote 95% of the songs for men, it's going to be natural for women to sing songs that were written for men. You don't need to keep talking about it.

Note #1 to the producers - when Melinda is singing the group song, make sure her mike is on.


Of course, just because Bee Gees night is boring doesn't mean everyone's not watching. In fact, The MSR Group, a market research company, says that they have problems getting people to answer the phone when their telemarketers call on Tuesday and Wednesday nights (the article's a little old):

According to statistics gathered by the company, over the past two weeks Americans have been less likely to answer their phones on nights the popular television singing competition airs, particularly during the recent "Idol Gives Back" episode.

"Over the past two weeks, we have seen our interviewers' production levels go down significantly on American Idol nights. The rates have gone from 3.2 completed surveys per hour to about 2.5, a 22 percent decrease. The biggest drop occurred last week during the 'Idol Gives Back' episode where we saw a 41 percent decrease," said Dick Worick, President and CEO of The MSR Group. "Production rates have remained normal on all other days of the week and even for other times of the day."

The reduction in response levels has led the company to change its staffing patterns on "Idol" nights, ensuring its staff isn't left idle.

How can these telemarketers work if you won't pick up your phone during Idol?! Help them please!!! Talk to them while Idol is on....They'd really appreciate it.




For those of you who sat through another unbearably long Wednesday night show (Ryan and the judges RUSH through Tuesday night to get the show in, yet they all joke about how they have to stretch out the show on Wednesday night), you saw Pink perform "Who Knew", a performance that was bumped off of the "Idol Gives Back" episode. That's right - that performance was NOT live on Wednesday night.

However, word is that Pink was originally supposed to do her current single, "U + Ur Hand", but the producers told her to switch it up because they didn't like that song's content.

So, for the record - songs performed by top 16 finalists this year like "Let's Get It On", "Every Breath You Take", and "Mack the Knife" - which are songs about murder, stalking, and getting it on with someone else.....those are OK. But songs that mention getting it on without anyone else are out of bounds.


Back to Tuesday night's show -
We saw that many people agreed that Tuesday's show was just not good and they felt the need to email Debbie about it:

Paul Peters wrote this:

LaKisha is hot, but her rendition of "Run to Me" was not.

Mark Noferi said:

Could they put more echo, echo, echo on Blake for "You Should Be Dancing"? And what was that second song? I've never heard that song before in my life.

Go Yanks.

Jennie Lane wrote us to say:

This is what I have to say to Blake - hey Blake - You should be dancing....all the way home because you sucked big time on Tuesday night loser. Your hair is horrible.

Grant Gosselin said:

I have it on good authority that Melinda Doolittle smells like rotten garbage. And her performance on Tuesday night was garbage, too. Smelly, smelly garbage.

And Missy Minock wrote:

Dear American Idol Pool Master, Jordin's rendition of "To Love Somebody" was alright.

TTYL!

Love, Missy

Turns out no one above was more accurate than Paul Peters.

When Wednesday rolled around and Seacrest said Jordin was safe, it meant good news for only three people - Chris F., Peter B., and Marybeth. Marybeth and Peter B. both have Jordin #3. Chris F. has her #2. Very good calls all of you!

And it was no shocker that Melinda was safe, and almost everyone in the pool breathed a sigh of relief.

So, when it came down to Blake and LaKisha, you would think that Blake would be the safe one as he was the only boy remaining.....and he was. Kiki's voyage ends here.

Congrats to Dave, Jane, Jennie, Matty, and Paul P. - you all called LaKisha out 4th.

And LaKisha's departure means bad things for Chris F., Christy, Darby, Dina, Karen, Lisa W., Mark, Marsha, Will. All those people had Kiki winning the whole thing, so no winner's pool for you!

But no one was hurt more than the people whose only remaining "alive" finalist (meaning only contestant left was in their top 2) was LaKisha. Those people have now maxed out and can't get any more points for the rest of the competition. They are Lisa W., Mark (both had Kiki #1), Jennifer (had Kiki #2), and Brooke (had Kiki #3).

Mark's max out at 170 means he could finish as low as 49th - which is great news for the Fioretti family!!!! That's right Paul, Jaime, and Suzanne - if Melinda wins the whole thing, you three won't finish 49th, 50th, and 51st.....although Jaime and Suzanne, I regret to inform you that you two are finishing 50th and 51st no matter what.....all hope for the Fioretti family now rests in Paul (and I guess Melinda's) hands.


Also, LaKisha getting the boot also means that NO ONE is 3 for 3, and there are only a handful of people who can go 2 for 2 next week. They are:

Paul P. - has Blake 1 and Melinda 2 - Paul P. is the highest current participant who can go 2 for 2 and he needs Jordin gone to do it. If that happens, and Blake wins, Paul P. will max out at 268 points, which is a very good number.
Jennie - has Blake 1 and Melinda 2 - which means that no matter what, she's going to finish behind Paul P. - The most she can get is 263 points
Chris S. - has Melinda 1 and Blake 2 - Can max out at 253 points
Grant - has Melinda 1 and Blake 2 - Can max out at 245 points

So, let's look at the top 5 real quick. OK -

In First Place remains WILL BEEKMAN! We don't know how he does it, folks. He just stays on top of the standings and refuses to let go even though he lost his #1 pick tonight. In fact, if Jordin wins the whole thing, we think Will might be able to hold on and win this thing. He currently has 251 points but can only max out at 262. He's done after next week no matter what.

In Second Place sits Marybeth Heyd. MB is a force and is seemingly in the driver's seat. If Melinda wins the whole thing, Marybeth will win the pool. She has 250 points, but can max out at 273 with Melinda as her #1.

In Third Place is Kristin. Kristin has 242 points and can max out at 265, but since she has Melinda winning the whole thing, too, the best she can do is 2nd place. Still Kristin is a BIG Melinda fan.....

In Fourth is Missy Minock. Missy only has Melinda remaining at #1. Currently, she has 238 points, but can max out at 261. Which means, if it's a Melinda/Jordin finale and Melinda wins, Missy will finish fourth. I think that's the best she can do.

The Dark Horse is sitting in 5th place - Paul Peters has his #1 and #2 alive in Blake and Melinda. If Jordin goes next week, and Blake and Melinda are the top 2, and Blake wins it all, then Paul Peters will win the whole thing.

In fact, if Melinda goes out next week, and the finale is Blake and Jordin, and Blake wins it all, Paul will win the whole thing that way, too.

So, to recap our top 5. This is the best (WE THINK) they can do -

1. Will - will win if Jordin wins
2. MB - will win if Melinda wins
3. Kristin - will finish 2nd if Melinda wins
4. Missy - will finish 4th if Melinda wins
5. Paul P. - will win if Blake wins

There you go. We looked at the standings really quickly, but we think that's right.

Want to see the top 10 max points at this point?

1. Marybeth - currently 2nd - 273 points
2. Paul P. - currently 5th - 268 points
3. Kristin - currently 3rd - 265 points
4. Jennie - currently 7th - 263 points
5. Will - currently 1st - 262 points
6. Missy - currently 4th - 261 points
7. Crystal - currently 6th - 254 points
8. Chris S. - currently 16th - 253 points
9. Team Zach & Sarah - currently 8th - 249 points
10. Damian - currently 9th - 246 points

Lastly, cutest situation in the standings? Check out how adorable Don & Karen Lane are. Here we are 9 weeks into the competition, and somehow, someway, these two lovebirds have found each other. They both have 201 points and currently sit in a virtual tie in 32nd and 33rd. If someone other than Melinda wins, they'll end up virtually tied, too. Awwwwwwww.


Down to the final 3! Final 3 week is always one of our favorites - it's usually when Clive Davis shows up and picks a song for the contestants to sing and the judges each pick a song for the contestants, too.....We really hope nothing changes next week!!!

The Master


PS, Will Phil Stacey be deployed to Iraq? This article really doesn't have a clear answer, but I'm pretty sure the gist of the thing is "probably not".

Nitty Gritty Time Standings!!!!!

Talkin' It Up - It's Barry Gibb on American Idol

We have big news tonight!!!

Yes, it's bigger than the pictures of Lindsay Lohan using recreational drugs AFTER rehab along with the post by her friend.

Yes, it's bigger than the video of David Hasselhoff drunk.

Yes, it's bigger than the report that Bon Jovi hated Blake's "You Give Love A Bad Name".

Yes, it's even bigger than the clip of Bush forgetting when America's bicentennial was, the news that Clemens is coming to the Yanks, and the rumor that Sanjaya might be a contestant on "I Love NY" combined!

Want to know what it is?

The dates for the summer American Idol tour have been announced!!!!!

Going through the list, I see they are coming to various locations in FL, CA, IL, GA, CT, MA, NJ, NY, WA, and NC, so I expect to be reading reports from all of your trips to the shows over the summer.....

Tampa tickets go on sale on 5/19. I'm looking at you Paul, Dina, Crystal, and Missy.




This week is Bee Gees week on American Idol with Barry Gibb. Ugh. We can only hope we get some of this:


I can only hope Barry Gibb talks about chest hair and crazy cool medallions.

Although, here at AI HQ, we might have to check ourselves. After all, we were down on J. Lo and Latin week, and we were pleasantly surprised. Then we were down on country week, and we were pleasantly surprised. And then we were down on Inspirational Week, and we were very pleased........we were never down on Bon Jovi. He's awesome.

Want to know how awesome? After he performed last week, Adele wrote us and said this:

Dear Idol Pool Master,
Bon Jovi is like Leo and John Mayer and horses and Beni Hana all wrapped into one. I love him so much.

Love,
Adele

Anyway, back to Bee Gees.....we're guessing it's not just Bee Gees, but music that the Bee Gees wrote, because the rumor was that Phil was going to sing "Islands in the Stream" this week if he was still around. Although, truth be told, we have no idea what other songs the Bee Gees wrote that they didn't perform.

We do know one thing, though....Idol contestants better not do any songs that the Bee Gees performed but didn't write.

I'm talking about this:


Or anything else from this:


No No NO NOOOOOOOOOOOO

Of course, if we get too much disco on Tuesday, there's always this option for the American Idol studio audience.



OK, let's look at the standings really quickly.

Enjoying his one (and probably only) week in first place is AI Pool Founding Member Will Beekman. Will was 4 for 4 last week, but his 4 are in this order - LaKisha, Melinda, Blake, Jordin.....that just seems like the wrong order at this point, so we're not sure how long Will is going to last in #1.

In 2nd place sits Marybeth Heyd. MB can go 3 for 3 if Blake goes home - her top 3 is Melinda, LaKisha, and Jordin. So, if it's Blake's week to go home on Wednesday, MB will leapfrog Will into 1st.

In 3rd place is Missy Minock. Missy has Melinda & LaKisha 1 and 2 and her #3 is out, so she really needs Blake or Jordin to go home.

Kirstin is lurking very dangerously in 4th place. She was also 4 for 4 this week and her top 4 read thusly - Melinda, LaKisha, Blake, Jordin. So, like Will, Kirstin will be in great shape if Jordin goes home.

Team Zach & Sarah is still hanging around the top 5. They can go 2 for 3 if Jordin or Blake goes home.

One person who doesn't want Blake going home is Paul Peters, currently in 6th. Paul has Blake #1 overall, so the further he goes, the higher Paul will climb.

However, there are lots of people out there who can go 3 for 3, and we should mention them all here:

#1. Will if Jordin goes
#2. MB if Blake goes
#4. Kristin if Jordin goes
#9. Crystal if Jordin goes
#23. Yvonne if Jordin goes
#24. Jon if Jordin goes
#26. Cindy if Jordin goes
#30. Grant if Jordin goes
#33. Dina if Jordin goes
#39. Don if Jordin goes
#44. Darby if Jordin goes
#46. Peter B. if Blake goes

So, there are lots of Jordin haters out there this week. She was one of our favorites two weeks ago, but she really fell apart on Bon Jovi night. However, we're betting she's going to pick a good song this week and regroup.

If we were betters, we'd say LaKisha is going home this week. The word is that she was having trouble picking a song this week, and that seemed to spell near disaster last week.

And if LaKisha goes, it'll mess up a good number of remaining entries. She is, after all, the 2nd most popular pick for this year's winner in the pool.

Enjoy Tuesday night!
The Master

When 6 become 4.......

Too bad one of these bosom buddies had to go home. Maybe they'll go drink the sadness away.



We all knew Bon Jovi week was going to be incredible, and it was.

Phil started things out with an excellent version of "Blaze of Glory". Remember, that song was from "Young Guns 2", which is the one where Billy the Kid is shot (or is he?) in the back by Patrick Floyd Garrett and starred Emilio Estevez, Kiefer Sutherland, Lou Diamond Phillips, Christian Slater, and a young Viggo Mortensen. But the juiciest role was left for Jon Bon Jovi as the uncredited role of "Pit Inmate Shot Back into Pit".

Unfortunately, for whatever reason, Phil went home first on Wednesday, and for our pool, that means he went home last week. It's a shame because he clearly had one of, if not the, best performances on Tuesday, but it wasn't enough for the total vote tally from the two weeks.

Congratulations to Matty Lane. He was the only person who called Phil out at #6.

Side note - where are all the jokers who think that votefortheworst works now? Votefortheworst picked Phil after Sanjaya went out. Boy, their support for these people really pays off!

In honor of Phil, who certainly won us over during the course of the season, here's the video for "Blaze of Glory":


Awesome, right?

But as awesome as this recent performance? Phil definitely beats out Chris Sligh!


Or this one? Phil definitely beats out Scarlett Johansson, although she really wasn't given a lot to work with:



Back to the show on Tuesday - LaKisha was great and got a smooch. Melinda was her usual rock solid self. Blake hid his mediocre voice behind some fun beatboxing and a repetitive refrain that the whole crowd could sing along to.

The low points of the evening were definitely Chris' "Dead or Alive", which, while not horrible, was also not one of the stronger performances, and Jordin's "Living on a Prayer".

Here are our thoughts about Jordin - she's great and she has a great voice, but we have no idea what happened to her on Tuesday. Maybe our critique of her "You'll Never Walk Alone" got to her.....Whatever the reason, her performance was what we feared a Bon Jovi night could become - terrible karaoke.

But, it turned out that Chris' didn't have enough support over the two weeks to carry on......Could it have had something to do with his lighting on Tuesday night.....Here are our notes for the AI producers when Chris sings on the tour- don't ever ever EVER light him from above in harsh white light while he's staring into the camera with his head down......Why?

Here's Chris from last night.




















And here's Vincent D'Onofrio as Pvt. Pyle in Stanley Kubrick's "Full Metal Jacket".



I don't know what the produers' major malfunction is, but I'm pretty certain after getting the boot on Wednesday, Chris went right to the bathroom and blew his face open with a rifle.

Congrats to Adele, Serico, Crystal, Jon, Mike, and Yvonne. They all correctly called Chris Richardson out at #5.



Clearing out some links we've been sent (and while we're on the subject of Chris Richardson) - special thanks goes to Paul Peters for alerting us to this story about the show two weeks ago. Turns out Justin Timberlake was supposed to be with Antonio Banderas two weeks ago to promote "Shrek the Third", but he balked and that's why we got Jeffrey Katzenberg instead:

The folks at Paramount (which will distribute Shrek) also made a big ad buy on the show, of course, but the real lure was that Katzenberg was supposed to deliver Justin Timberlake, who plays a young prince in the new movie. Having the newly redeemed Timberlake appear as mentor to the aspiring Idols makes a lot of sense, no matter how unwilling one might be to listen to boy-band covers.

But Timberlake balked. Katzenberg's camp says the problem was that Timberlake's touring schedule changed, making the appearance impossible. A well-placed Timberlake source says the young man opted to spend the week in Scotland with his parents.

Anyway, let's get to the scoring!!!!!!!!!!

The scoring system has taken two weeks off, and a lot of things have changed. Up is down. Black is white. Dogs love cats. It's crazy.

With Phil going home last week and Chris going home this week, do you want to guess who has now moved into first place overall? You'll never believe it.....

WILL BEEKMAN!! Will is the only contestant who is 4 for 4 and he is now #1 overall!!!! Will's combination of 4 for 5 for last week and 4 for 4 this week vaulted him to 231 points, and since he still has the top 4 all still alive, he can max out at the unsurmountable amount of 295 points.

(Side note - It's actually going to be tough for him to win out as he has LaKisha winning the whole thing. - end side note)

No one can take his Week 9 accomplishment away from him. He is tops this week, and tops in our book.


Then, there are a bunch of other people at 2 through 5. Do you want to know who they are?

Ok, fine. I'll tell you.

At #2 and almost certainly out of reach of Will is Marybeth Heyd. She has 230 points, which is one GIANT point behind Will and can only max out at 294. Loser.

At #3 is Missy, and she better just consider packing up her bags right now and calling it a season. She has the laughable amount of 228 points and can only max out at 282. I mean, it's not even close.

At #4 sits Kristin. Remember when I said Will was the only person who went 4 for 4? Yeah, I lied, Kristin is also 4 for 4, but she's not in first place, so who really cares.

Kristin did write in to us tonight with these comments:

Whoopdy Doo!!! My name is Kristin and I'm 4 for 4 with Melinda Doolittle winning the whole thing. Make sure you write about how awesome I am....

Whatever Kristin. People who write about how awesome they are just because they are 4 for 4 should be belittled, not celebrated.

Then at #5 is Team Zach & Sarah. Team Zach & Sarah just continuously hangs around the top 5-7 of the pool. Unfortunately, they only have two of their top 4 still alive, so this could be the highest they're going to get for the rest of the season. Currently, Team Zach & Sarah have 216 points, and they can only max out at 270.

Want to know who the top 10 are now in max points? Here you go:

1. Will - currently 1st - 295 points
2. Marybeth - currently 2nd - 294 points
3. Kristin - currently 4th - 286 points
4. Missy - currently 3rd - 282 points
5. Crystal - currentl 9th - 275 points
6. Zach & Sarah - currently 5th - 270 points
T7. Paul P. - currently 6th - 268 points - Paul has made a big run up from the bottom of the pack!
T7. Kendra - currently 16th - 268 points
9. Julie - currently 12th - 264 points
10. Jennie - currently 14th - 263 points

Two final thoughts:

1. Let's all give a big American Idol Pool hand to Lisa Wagner! Lisa stayed on top of the standings for 9 weeks, which is an amazing run. In fact, I think we should name some sort of award for Lisa and hand it out each season to the person who stays on top of the pool the longest.

Unfortunately, Lisa fell back into 11th place this week. She only has 2 of her top 4 still alive and can max out at 253. There's a chance for her to finish in the top 10 still.....

1a. We should also acknowledge the nice run Matty Lane had at the top of the pool as well. Matty was giving Lisa a run for her money every week for the last month. Unfortunately, like Lisa, Matty just ran out of gas and can max out at 231 points. Still, he made some very nice calls this season (like Phil out at #6, and Sabrina out of the top 12 altogether).


2. Everyone needs to look at the bottom 3 in the pool this week. For those of you who don't know, Paul F., Jaime, and Suzanne are all family. Jaime's parents are Paul F. and Suzanne - and currently they're in a race to the death to see who will finish dead last! I guess picking American Idol picks is a hereditary trait.....


That's it! Bee Gees next week!
The Master


PS-Who knew that jokes about Simon's girlfriend would give him uncontrollable fits of laughter? Is he really 11 years old?