Idol Pool Standings Week 9

American Idol Viewer's Guide - Sinatra!

Well Idol Pool fans, we've made it to the top 5. It's Sinatra week! Let's hope none of the contestants end up like this:


Since our dear Blue Eyes isn't here to mentor the remaining contestants, we at Idol Pool Headquarters have come up with the advice we think he'd give if he were with them before they take the stage. And since our beloved Seeohbhaan left, it’s a toss-up as to who will sing "Jeepers Creepers".


Casey
Casey: Hi. The ladies call me "ol’ blue eyes" too.
Sinatra: No they don't son. You got smog in the noggin, and there ain’t no chicks in skins boppin to your beat.
Casey: Huh?
Sinatra: Exactly - sing for me then blue eyes. Make it hip.

Song choice: ‘Blame it on My Youth’ or ‘Bop! Goes My Heart’.


Big Mike

Sinatra: So Big Mike, tell me something about yourself.
Big Mike: I don't like to be called Big Mike.
Sinatra: Oh yeah, I get it. I saw 'The Blind Side'. So, Big Mike, you wanna work out and play some football?

Song choice: ‘Love Me Tender’ or ‘I Love You Just the Way You Are’


Crystal
Sinatra: Well, Ms. BobbySoxers, I've heard all about you.
Crystal: Actually, my last name is Bowersox. But it's okay.
Sinatra: You really should change it - bobbysoxers wore the hip look - I think it might catch on again. Do you think you can pull this off?

Sinatra: Oh, and stop toying with your boy you saucy lass. ‘Don't marry me, I’m not ready, I have the ring so I’m ready, I’m not giving him the ring back yet, He'd better propose but I still have the ring, Why hasn't he done it, No pressure at all’. Seriously woman, I've seen less torture in war times!

Song choice: ‘Both Sides Now’ (Joni Mitchell version) or ‘Everyman Should Marry’ (to be proudly dedicated to her ready-to-run-the-opposite-direction-because-she-made-it-awkward-in-front-of-millions-of-viewers boyfriend)


Lee
Sinatra: So, you’re the rocker.
Lee: Yeah.
Sinatra: Think you’ll win?
Lee: Yeah.
Sinatra: What’s on your chin?
Lee: Hair.
Sinatra: You look like a fool. In my day your Dad would have popped you one and you'd have shaved it right quick.
Lee: Cool.

Song choice: ‘Bad, Bad, LEEroy Brown’ or ‘LEEavin’ on a Jet Plane’ or ‘Mrs. Robinson’


Aaron
Aaron: Hello Mr. Sinatra. I was thinking of singing ‘Makin’ Whoopee’. Just like last week, I’ll be singing it for my Mom.
Sinatra: Well, gee, okay.
(He sings)
Sinatra: I'm sure you have a good voice son, but every time you sing all I hear in my head is cookie monster telling me 'One of these things is not like the other - one of these things does not belong’.


Song choice: ‘Come Fly With Me’ or ‘I Get a Kick Out of You’.


Enjoy Sinatra week!

Idol Pool Standings Week 8

American Idol Viewer's Guide - Shania Twain

Well, Tim is officially gone. Phew. Between boy-crazy tweens and votefortheworst.com, I was starting to fear a finale of Tim Urban and Aaron Kelly. Even the founder of Vote for the Worst was planning to throw in the towel if Tim Urban had made it all the way.

Alas, he is gone, and Vote for the Worst continues to sabotage. Their new pick has been revealed: slow-talking, combat-boot-wearing Siobhan Magnus. They will certainly help her cause; however, I’m pretty sure Siobhan has her own way of manipulating the competition…

With her uncanny resemblance to Nancy Downs, the evil teen witch from The Craft, Siobhan just has to stare at the camera with wide eyes and slightly flared nostrils and people from around the globe involuntarily pick up their phones to vote.



Don’t be fooled by the butterfly accessories, glittery, purple lip-gloss and molasses-paced commentary, this witch is no Glinda. You don’t have to take my word for it… just look at her friends:

BEWARE.

Now, onto this week’s theme: Shania Twain. This… could… be… ugly.

Predictions:
Crystal: “Forever and For Always”. She may wear cowboy boots with a hippy dress.

Siobhan: “You’re Still the One”, which she will actually be singing about her little sister.

Big Mike: “When You Kiss Me”. He’ll throw in some extra vibrato, hit those high notes, and then stand with his wide-stance in front of the judges like the football player he is.

Casey: “You’ve Got a Way”, which will either show his vulnerable side the judges have been after, or it will be the worst. performance. ever.

Lee: “I’m Gonna Getcha Good!”. This is an unfortunate theme for Lee, but whatever song he sings, he will make it all gravelly and “commercial” and he’ll be just fine.

Aaron: “Up” because the lyrics are made for an adolescent boy:

It's 'bout as bad as it could be
Seems everybody's buggin' me
Like nothing wants to go my way--
yeah, it just ain't been my day
Nothin's comin' easily

Even my skin is acting weird
I wish that I could grow a beard
Then I could cover up my spots
not play connect the dots
I just wanna disappear

Enjoy the episode, everyone!