April 30 Standings

1. Ryan – 248 points (279 max) – no change

2. Stephen - 245 points (288 max) – no change

3. Dave L. - 244 points (275 max) – up from 5th

4. Jennie L. - 241 points (284 max) – down from 3rd

5. Jane – 236 points (279 max) – down from 4th

T-6. Jaime - 235 points (278 max) – up from T-15th
T-6. Suzy M. - 235 points (278 max) – up from T-15th

8. Lisa B. - 233 points (287 max) - up from 19th

9. Meredith - 233 points (276 max) - down from 6th

10. Julie H. - 232 points (263 max) - down from 7th

11. Amy Y. - 231 points (281 max) – down from 8th

12. Amy L-P. - 230 points (263 max) – down from 10th

T-13. Aneesha - 228 points (261 max) – down from 12th
T-13. Stephanie - 228 points (261 max) – down from 11th

15. Julie R. - 228 points (238 max) – down from 13th

16. Jan W. - 226 points (280 max) – down from 14th

17. Kara - 226 points (259 max) – no change

18. Damian - 225 points (258 max) – no change

T-19. Don - 223 points (277 max) – up from 20th
T-19. Michelle - 223 points (277 max) - up from 31st

21. Katie K. - 223 points (266 max) – up from 33rd

22. Mike L. - 222 points (265 max) – down from 21st

23. Liz - 222 points (253 max) – up from 35th

24. Lisa S. - 222 points (232 max) - down from 9th

25. Alieda - 221 points (254 max) - down from T-22nd

26. Denis - 219 points (262 max) – down from 25th

27. Marcia - 218 points (261 max) - down from 26th

28. Corona - 218 points (251 max) – down from 27th

29. Karen - 217 points (250 max) – down from 28th

30. Suzanne - 215 points (248 max) – down from 29th

31. Scott - 214 points (268 max) – down from 30th

32. Cathleen - 213 points (256 max) – up from 34th

T-33. Brian - 212 points (245 max) – down from T-22nd
T-33. Rich – 212 points (245 max) – up from T-37th
T-33. Will B. - 212 points (245 max) – up from T-37th

36. Kristin - 212 points (233 max) - down from 24th

37. Marybeth & Lucy - 209 points (242 max) – up from 41st

38. Jenny M. - 206 points (249 max) – up from 53rd

39. Cindy - 205 points (259 max) – up from 43rd

40. Jan M. - 205 points (238 max) - down from 32nd

41. Team 'Tini - 205 points (215 max) – up from 44th

T-42. Jen S. - 204 points (237 max) – down from 36th
T-42. Melissa - 204 points (237 max) – up from 46th

44. Jean Claude - 204 points (235 max) - up from 45th

45. Matty - 203 points (236 max) - up from 47th

46. Yvonne - 202 points (235 max) – down from 39th

47. Team Ringey - 202 points (212 max) – up from 48th

48. Team O'Brien - 201 points (234 max) - down from 40th

49. Matt - 200 points (254 max) – no change

50. Anh - 200 points (243 max) – no change

51. Mandy - 200 points (233 max) – down from 42nd

52. Brooke - 199 points (238 max) - up from 54th

53. Stacie - 199 points (226 max) - up from 55th

54. Paul F. - 193 points (214 max) – up from 58th

55. Jon - 191 points (245 max) – up from 60th

56. Kathryn - 190 points (223 max) – down from 51st

57. Michael W. - 189 points (232 max) – up from 61st

58. Andy - 188 points (209 max) – down from 52nd

59. Dina - 185 points (239 max) – up from 62nd

60. Emily - 185 points (218 max) – down from 56th

61. Missy - 185 points (206 max) – down from 57th

62. Peter - 183 points (204 max) – down from 59th

63. Lance - 179 points (233 max) – up from 64th

64. Paul P. - 178 points (232 max) - up from 66th

65. Sean - 176 points (219 max) – up from 69th

66. Julie W. - 173 points (204 max) – up from 71st

67. Katy L. - 171 points (214 max) – up from 72nd

68. Judy - 171 points (204 max) – down from 63rd

69. Dave S. - 170 points (191 max) – down from 65th

70. Cristina - 169 points (223 max) – up from 74th

71. Jill - 169 points (202 max) – down from 67th

72. Will A. – 169 points (179 max) – down from 68th

73. Kendra - 166 points (187 max) – down from 70th

74. Julie K. - 161 points (182 max) - down from 73rd

75. Mike & Suzy - 157 points (211 max) – up from 76th

76. Chris F. – 157 points (167 max) – down from 75th

77. Mark - 126 points (MAXED OUT) – no change

78. Neisha - 119 points (MAXED OUT) – down from 76th

April 29 Viewer's Guide - Neil Diamond!

Dear Debbie,

Thanks for your response to my on-line pics. I'll be sure to send along more revealing shots once I've determined that we are indeed a good match. I'm really into dancing, stiff cocktails, and…

Wait. I think I just screwed up. I would like to begin my post over again.




I'm so excited about Neil Diamond week that I'm having a hard time keeping my blue jeans on, but before I get to this upcoming week's show, I'd like to comment on the mess that was last week's episode.

First off, the decision to have Syesha and Carly sing their songs again was the perfect way to tell America that they are a bunch of morons. No one could have watched the elimination show and thought that the two of them were the two worst performers of the week. And all the while, Brooke sat there on the safety couch smiling her half-winsome/ half-demonic smile as her eyes glittered with unshed tears. I wonder if she was thinking what I was thinking at that moment – 'I'm the luckiest Farrah Fawcett in the world. And America hasn't figured out yet that I only have five notes in my range. But if I can only put a catch in my voice when I go for the "high" notes, they'll never know.'

It was also fun to watch Jason Castro try and talk again. I've stopped trying to determine whether he is a) stoned all the time or b) really, really dumb. I think there is a little, no a lot, from column A and column B that makes him really fun to watch when he isn't singing. Too bad there is nothing fun about watching him singing. Did anyone else see him yawn his way through a segment before cutting to commercial? Fantastic. Get him some cheez-it and another bong-hit! Apparently, he was sick last week… at least that's what his dreadhead fan-club has stated. Don't worry, you can send him a get-well card here.


I have to admit that we here at American Idol Headquarters are mourning the loss of Carly Smithson. Sure, she isn't really "American", but man, she has pipes! Maybe she shouldn't have blasphemed her way through her 1:30 chance to shine. She rocked the song so hard that I didn't think the voters would notice that one of the lines she repeated was "Jesus Christ, Jesus Christ, who are you? What have you sacrificed?" And then I remember that the Mormons keeping Brooke and David A alive with their votes probably wouldn't appreciate the song choice.

I'm also glad that Syesha survived another week. Not to be too crass, but as my co-worker put it so nicely, "she has a body to beat the band!" I don't even know what that line means, but I think I agree. Va-va-voom.

We all know that the finals are going to come down to the Davids. I was bored out of my skull during David Cook's rendition of "Music of the Night" and although I found my Christian Rock sensibilities appreciating the subtle groove of "Think of Me" by David Archuleta, it didn't knock my socks off as much as I would have hoped for Broadway week. Still, even when they aren't at their best, David A and David C deserve to make it through all the way.



As we turn our sights to this week's show, I hope I'm not alone in my excitement. I mean, Neil Diamond? This is the artist that spawned such fandom that even Oscar-nominated super-comedies pay tribute to Lord Diamond's musical prowess.


Having Andrew Lloyd Weber and Neil Diamond back-to-back is like seeing evolution happen. You take one of the world's ugliest humans and make him only slightly better looking, and you have the last two mentors on American Idol.




Even if they don't rely on Neil's most famous songs like "Soggy Pretzels", "Porcupine Pie", and "Crunchy Granola Suite", I think we're all in for a delight. Oh Carly, how we'll miss the opportunity to have heard you rock the immigrant anthem, "America". You could have taken those key changes to a whole new level and powered through the money notes. We certainly know that Brooke can't do it and I honestly can't remember what Syesha sounds like.

In my heart of hearts, I would love to see a "You Don't Bring Me Flowers" duet with Brooke and Jason Castro. And then I would love to see them throw darts at each other's glassy eyes. Maybe one of Jason's dreads can come off in his hand and he can throw it at Brooke. Maybe Brooke could take off her feathered wig and throw it at Jason. Regardless, I wish they could vote two people off in the same week. But even Brooke and Jason couldn't be worse than this.

Neil Diamond, before he was a megastar of his own, wrote songs for the Monkees. David Archuleta singing "Daydream Believer" would be a perfect choice for the masses, although I'd rather see him shock his grandma fan-base by singing "Forever in Blue Jeans."

David Cook should absolutely sing, "Girl, You'll Be a Woman Soon". With his smoldering gazes at the camera and his sultry baritone, he will make the ladies swoon. And it is so apropos for the gaggle of screaming mimis in the front of the auditorium. And kind of dirty…

And Syesha? I don't care what you sing, just make sure that you wear this dress again.

April 23 Standings

Carly, you call that "Superstar"? This is "Superstar"!!! (hurry and download that. It's only good for a week!).



1. Ryan – 230 points (321 max) – up from 2nd

2. Stephen - 227 points (297 max) – up from 3rd

3. Jennie L. - 223 points (314 max) – down from 1st

4. Jane – 218 points (288 max) – up from 9th

5. Dave L. - 217 points (317 max) – up from 13th

6. Meredith - 215 points (276 max) - down from 4th

7. Julie H. - 214 points (272 max) - down from 5th

8. Amy Y. - 213 points (281 max) – down from 6th

9. Lisa S. - 213 points (241 max) - down from 7th

10. Amy L-P. - 212 points (293 max) – down from 8th

11. Stephanie - 210 points (280 max) – down from 10th

12. Aneesha - 210 points (261 max) – down from 11th

13. Julie R. - 210 points (238 max) – down from 12th

14. Jan W. - 208 points (299 max) – no change

T-15. Jaime - 208 points (278 max) – up from 25th
T-15. Suzy M. - 208 points (278 max) – up from T-27th

17. Kara - 208 points (259 max) – down from 15th

18. Damian - 207 points (288 max) - up from 29th

19. Lisa B. - 206 points (287 max) - down from 17th

20. Don - 205 points (277 max) – down from 18th

21. Mike L. - 204 points (274 max) – up from 33rd

T-22. Alieda - 203 points (254 max) - down from T-20th
T-22. Brian - 203 points (254 max) – no change

24. Kristin - 203 points (242 max) - down from T-20th

25. Denis - 201 points (262 max) – down from 23rd

26. Marcia - 200 points (261 max) - up from T-27th

27. Corona - 200 points (251 max) – down from 26th

28. Karen - 199 points (250 max) – down from 16th

29. Suzanne - 197 points (267 max) – up from 32nd

30. Scott - 196 points (287 max) – up from T-34th

31. Michelle - 196 points (277 max) - up from T-34th

32. Jan M. - 196 points (268 max) - up from 37th

33. Katie K. - 196 points (266 max) – up from T-34th

34. Cathleen - 195 points (256 max) – down from 19th

35. Liz - 195 points (253 max) – up from 38th

36. Jen S. - 195 points (246 max) – up from 39th

T-37. Rich - 194 points (245 max) – up from 41st
T-37. Will B. - 194 points (245 max) – up from 40th

39. Yvonne - 193 points (244 max) – down from 24th

40. Team O'Brien - 192 points (243 max) - up from 43rd

41. Marybeth & Lucy - 191 points (242 max) – down from 30th

42. Mandy - 191 points (233 max) – down from 31st

43. Cindy - 187 points (259 max) – up from 45th

44. Team 'Tini - 187 points (215 max) – up from 46th

45. Jean Claude - 186 points (244 max) - up from 47th

46. Melissa - 186 points (237 max) – up from 48th

47. Matty - 185 points (236 max) - down from 42nd

48. Team Ringey - 184 points (212 max) – up from 51st

49. Matt - 182 points (254 max) - up from T-52nd

50. Anh - 182 points (243 max) – up from T-52nd

51. Kathryn - 181 points (242 max) – up from 55th

52. Andy - 179 points (251 max) – down from 44th

53. Jenny M. - 179 points (249 max) – up from 58th

54. Brooke - 177 points (247 max) - up from 59th

55. Stacie - 177 points (226 max) - down from 49th

56. Emily - 176 points (227 max) – up from 60th

57. Missy - 176 points (225 max) – down from 50th

58. Paul F. - 175 points (214 max) – up from 62nd

59. Peter - 174 points (246 max) – down from 54th

60. Jon - 173 points (245 max) – down from 56th

61. Michael W. - 171 points (232 max) – down from 57th

62. Dina - 167 points (239 max) – down from 61st

63. Judy - 162 points (204 max) – no change

64. Lance - 161 points (233 max) – no change

65. Dave S. - 161 points (191 max) – no change

66. Paul P. - 160 points (232 max) - up from 68th

67. Jill - 160 points (211 max) – no change

68. Will A. – 160 points (209 max) – down from 66th

69. Sean - 158 points (219 max) – up from 70th

70. Kendra - 157 points (187 max) – up from 71st

71. Julie W. - 155 points (204 max) – up from 72nd

72. Katy L. - 153 points (214 max) – up from 73rd

73. Julie K. - 152 points (182 max) - down from 69th

74. Cristina - 151 points (223 max) – no change

75. Chris F. – 148 points (209 max) – no change

76. Mike & Suzy - 139 points (211 max) – up from 78th

77. Mark - 126 points (MAXED OUT) – no change

78. Neisha - 119 points (MAXED OUT) – down from 76th

American Idol Viewer's Guide - Andrew Lloyd Weber

Well, I think we can all take a big sigh of relief that Kristy Lee is FINALLY gone! Geez, all those middle-American country lovers (or guys who thought she was hot) were keeping her around too long for our AI pool. The majority of us had her going out pretty early so we can all focus on the remainder of the contestants now. For those of you that thought you might want to try and date the hottie, your dreams are over. Kristy Lee is now engaged (as she was back in March) to Andrew Dobner, a tree cutter from her home state or Oregon.

Onto the current Idols and their performances on Mariah Carey week…whew, what a toughie! First there was Brooke White who sang “Hero”. The judges, and us at AI Headquarters, love her folksy rendition but did anyone else notice how she totally lost it in the middle of the song? It’s like she spaced out and couldn’t regain focus. Her piano playing became almost painful to watch and hear, not to mention her voice…definitely not her best performance. We may see Brooke in the bottom three this week although we’d love to see her stay! On a side note about Brooke’s appearance…has anyone noticed the size of her hair increasing? I mean, we know she’s a Beauty School dropout, but shouldn’t she have better hairdo decisions? How can someone go from this to this? Oh yea, and Brooke, PLEASE learn to SHUT UP during judging!!! We don’t want to know that you agree with every bad thing the judges say to you!

Carly gave another good performance singing “Without You”. I don’t know about you, but does it look like Carly is in pain when she’s singing? You can tell that she really tried hard to add in some smiles while belting out her best rendition of Mariah, but for the most part she still looked pretty mad and miserable! As most Idol fans know, Carly had been previously signed and released an album. We at AI Headquarters have noticed that since her former recording deal, not only has Carly gained a few tattoos, she’s gained a few pounds too. Check out Carly’s previously released album and photos under the name Carly Hennessy. Was she way hotter or what?

With his dreamy blue eyes, soft-spoken voice, and funky yet sexy dreads, Jason Castro continues to woo the ladies! Have you ever wondered if Jason would be as cute without dreads? The answer is NO…check out his mug pre-dreads. Jason sang Mariah’s “I Don’t Wanna Cry” with a three piece band backing him. The bongos were a totally Jason addition and we loved it! Although Jason is not that exciting, he is consistent. AI Headquarters wonders if Jason will ever try something new or change up his style, but then we found this YouTube clip of him doing the rockin’ band Sublime’s Sanetria…..it sounds like every other song Jason has done! Well, at least he’s consistent!

Now, I don’t know about you guys, but some of us are ready to see Syesha go! We loved her at the beginning of the show, but she’s lost some of her mojo! She sang Mariah’s “Vanashing” which the judges actually liked. AI Headquarters disagrees-we thought it sounded like she screamed the entire thing…OUCH! Also, could Syesha be any more boring? We tried to dig up some dirt on her but honestly, there’s nothing exciting or funny out there about her. The only thing remotely interesting about her is that she made it to the top 12 in Season 7 of American Idol. For that reason alone she should be booted by now!

And then there was the front-runner David Cook. Stealing words from Randy, this guy is hot, dawg! If you were like us at AI Headquarters, you were nervous for David when you heard that he was going to sing “Always Be My Baby”. How could a dude make this song enjoyable? Well, leave it up to David to figure it out. Along with the judges we loved his version of the song…and we think he didn’t rip this one off like “Billie Jean” or “Eleanor Rigby”! Although we liked David’s performance, we still think he needs a haircut! What is up with the pseudo-mullet and weird sideburn growth? The word on the street is that David has been seeing some chick Lacey Schwimmer from the show “So You Think You Can Dance”. For the full story and Lacey’s slutty looking picture, click here. Keep in mind that David is 25 and Lacey is only 19-ewwwwwwww!

Finally we turn our attention to the beloved David Archuletta! David wowed the crowd and judges with his rendition of Mariah’s “When you Believe”. Now we know that many of you have David finishing very high in your picks, but can you really see him topping the pop charts? Maybe he could be a major Christian artist, but can you see him hanging with the likes of Justin Timberlake, Jay-Z, and Adam Levine? I don’t think so! Also, some of you may have been so mesmerized by David’s singing to notice that he was wearing leather pants! That’s right, David Archuletta was singing a Mariah Carey song while wearing leather pants!…that is just wrong on so many levels!!!

Since the Idol Pool Master is so well connected, we have been notified that this week’s guest superstar is none other than Andrew Lloyd Weber! I’m sure all of you a cappella boys know him well, but for the rest of us, Andrew Lloyd Weber is the man behind the composition of “Cats”, “Jesus Christ Superstar”, “The Phantom of the Opera”, “Evita”, and more. This doesn’t sound like a real American Idol-type of theme, but hopefully we will be happily surprised! We see Brooke White channeling something from “Cats” since her hair can look strangely similar to the “Cats” costumes. Our only hope at AI Headquarters is that we will get to see David “Don’t Cry For Me” Archuletta perform something from Evita! Happy Viewing!